


It hurts but I won't fight you (I'll protect them)

by AmbroseRivers



Series: The Things You've Said. [12]
Category: Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (Honestly that is probably a tag for this whole series), Abusive Behavior, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Protective Behavior, Self-Blame, could be read as a romantic or platonic Patton/Logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 04:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13628418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbroseRivers/pseuds/AmbroseRivers
Summary: Things You Said When You Were ScaredOr: Logan knows that Deceit is up to something and they have a confrontation.





	It hurts but I won't fight you (I'll protect them)

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't expect this to become a thing but it did. I should just make this a chaptered story but they are separate prompts (that can be read alone) so a new series, it is.  
> These are your WARNINGS for this piece: manipulation/ abusive behavior from Deceit, physical abuse (face slapping), self-doubt and blame.  
> Please be safe and cautious if these things are uncomfortable for you.

“It sure has been lively, huh?”

Logan tried to set the mug down calmly but it clattered against the counter nosily and he sucked in a sharp breath through his nose. He just barely kept his facial muscles lax and smooth as he turned to face the other side who was shattering the tiny shred of calm he had left.

Deceit lounged lazily against the opening to the kitchen with an infuriatingly arched brow as he pulled on the hem of his bright yellow gloves with a small knowing smirk.

_I wouldn’t say that is an accurate statement._

He doesn’t let the snarky retort escape from the safe confines of his skull as he deliberately returned to the task Deceit had so rudely interrupted.

Logan could almost swear that the unpleasant scrape of fingers ghosting down the line of his spine was real- and not the result of knowing that his back was exposed and vulnerable to the liar watching him with keen, glittering eyes. He ignored the urge to shudder and reached for the thick and ostentatious glass bowl that Princey had insisted they needed to store their sugar.

_This is a ridiculous receptacle for storing such a simple compound. It's just sucrose._

The familiarity of his thoughts and the vibration of the container as he pulled it closer to his cup helped to soothe the knot his stomach had twisted itself into. Logan knew the ailment was a physical manifestation of the rising level of concern he had been working to ignore for the past twenty-four hours and while it prevented him from enjoying a hearty meal, it would not interrupt his caffeine consumption.

_It's the little things, like Patton says._

He scooped a mound of granules onto his spoon and tapped the utensil until he was sure the small crystals were level.

“It appears the others are recuperating from your antics,” Logan finally spoke, stirring the sugar into his unmixed coffee. He watched the milk dye the entire beverage a pleasant caramel color before capturing a sample so he ensure the taste was satisfactory. “I advise you to enjoy the quiet while it lasts. I’m sure Patton or Roman will be breaking it soon enough.”

_This silence is unsettling. It’s been three days._

Virgil had fled from their presence the instant they were situated within the realm of Thomas’ mind. Logan had observed the way his phalanges twitched and jumped as he yanked his “emergency” pair headphones from his jacket pocket to stuff them in his ears without a word. Virgil’s closed off body language had alarmed Patton and made Logan’s stomach churn… but he didn’t follow because he knew that Anxiety valued his space when he needed to process a distressing situation.

It wouldn’t do anybody any favors if they triggered a panic attack. The best course of action would be to let Virgil come to them in his own time, when he was ready.

Roman had been uncharacteristically silent and Logan could tell that something was off. The blackness of the prince’s pupils almost covered the entirety his irises and his jaw was clenched tightly, eyes shining with something decidedly _not good._ He was in the midst of opening his mouth to question Princey when Deceit abruptly joined them. Roman only silently grit his teeth tighter in response before he spun on his heel to storm away with the angry  _click-click-click_ of his boots echoing behind him.

Patton had pressed a balled fist to his mouth with a quiet, “Um…” and Logan realized that Patton didn’t know of Deceit’s…well, deception.

_That had not been a fun conversation._

“I’m sure they will pop in,” Deceit’s chuckle allowed Logan to come back to the present with a jolt. “After they… _recuperate._ ”

Logan narrowed his eyes at the subtle sneer swimming underneath Deceit’s sarcastic quip. He curled his fingers through the gap of his mug’s handle and lifted it to take a calculated sip as he rotated to face Deceit.

“What are you up to, Apate?”

“It’s amusing how you guys insist on using my name,” Deceit spat, lips pressed into a thin line. “It’s not annoying at all.”

“Apate,” Logan began smugly. He smothered his smirk by taking another mouthful of his coffee. “The personification of deceit in Greek mythology. She was the offspring of Nyx and Erebos.”

“Interesting,” Deceit rolled his eyes as he pushed himself up from the wall. “Not boring at all, Logan.”

“Patton found it interesting,” Logan hummed nonchalantly, catching the way Deceit’s eye twitched. He set his still steaming mug down. “He found it a suitable moniker for you.”

“Patton is a fool.” Deceit snapped as he marched over to Logan, bringing his hand up with a flourish.

Logan’s shoulders hiked themselves up to his ears instinctively as he flinched against his will, widening his stance without a thought. The flat of Deceit's palm slammed into his left cheek and Logan hissed as his head snapped to the side from the force of the blow. It took him a few fluttering heartbeats to realize that there was no crushing pressure around his windpipe.

_He's weaker today._

Logan repeated his earlier inquiry monotonously, forcing his hands to lay flat by his side. “What are you up to?”

Deceit was breathing heavily, mirroring the rise and fall of Logan’s own chest, and for a space of time that spanned less than a heartbeat, there was a flicker of uncertainty in Deceit’s gaze but it was gone as quickly as it came. Deceit threw his head back and laughed heartily.

“You’re still an idiot, _Logic_.” Deceit straightened his jacket, tugging on the lapels. “Tell me…has Anxiety gotten more manageable since you stole him from me?”

Logan’s thumb came to rest under his clasped fingers in a loose fist.

“Virgil will always be present even if his form is not manifested corporeally for Thomas,” Logan uttered tightly, taking a step forward. “Thomas being able to see him makes them both feel better. Refrain from making Virgil lose his form.” It wasn't a suggestion, but a stern command that also served as a warning. 

“We wouldn’t want Thomas to panic, would we?” Deceit teased with a feral show of his teeth as he nicked Logan’s coffee from its resting place. He sauntered towards the exit with a relaxed gait and the arrogance oozing from him made Logan stab the blunt edges of his nails even deeper into the sensitive flesh of his palms. “Wouldn’t want to feed the part of him that he wants to control.”

“He is much more astute than you give him credit for.”

“Or maybe you overestimate his intelligence,” Deceit shot over his shoulder, waving his free hand with a flick of his wrist. “Though, it’s not Virgil you should be worrying about. Your clueless puppy seems to be content in his den.”

Logan’s heart skipped a beat.

“Thanks for the coffee, Lo. It’s _fantastic.”_

-

Logan banged on the closed door to Patton’s room insistently.

There was the shuffle of various objects and a dull thud.

He knocked even faster.

“I’m coming!” Patton called and even more crashes reached Logan’s ears through the barrier between them. “Pump the brakes for a second!”

Logan ceased his frantic movements, laying his head on the cool paint overlaying its oak base, and forcing himself to take a deep breath.

_I can’t get too worked up._

He could hear the gentle falls of Patton’s springy step and he straightened his posture as soon as the door started to swing open, hinges protesting in a tiny high-pitched wail.

Patton didn’t open it up entirely, peeking out of the small gap he had created with a pink nose and bitten-red, quivering lips. His eyebrows shot upwards, widening his eyes as he stuttered. “L-Lo? What are you…?” He trailed off, stepping back so he wasn't blocking the entrance to the chaos that was the inside of his room. He rubbed the dark gray fabric over his arm nervously as Logan's eyes scanned the various knick-knacks and keepsakes littering the floor and dominating his bed. “Do you want to talk? I could…uh…”

_What has he done to you?_

“Patton,” Logan murmured and the pads of his fingers brushed against the arc of a cheekbone before he could stop them, searching for any evidence of swelling or tenderness. “What’s going on?”

Patton’s skin grew warmer as the blood rushed to the surface of his face but he leaned into Logan’s palm with bewilderment, dark eyelashes tickling his skin because of the rapid speed of his blinks.

The corners of his lips quirked in an uneven, lopsided smile and Logan's mind screamed: _Wrong, wrong, wrong._

“You sure are touchy today. There’s nothing going on!” Patton giggled and the strained, too high sound grated on Logan's already frazzled nerves. “I’m just taking a little cat nap.” He brandished his sweater paws at Logan playfully.

Logan’s heart constricted at the juxtaposition of Patton’s raw lips and glassy eyes...and the mock growl and peppy swipes skimming the skin of his arm that broke the contact between them.

_Don’t pretend. Please._

“Falsehood.” Logan kept his volume low and controlled because he knew that loud noises startled and, sometimes, frightened Patton. “Pat, weren’t you the one who said lying was wrong?”

“…with exceptions.” The addendum would have escaped his notice if his focus wasn’t zeroed in on the fatherly side in front of him.

Patton fidgeted with the paws covering his hands and the material rustled quietly in time with his movements. “I said lying is wrong with exceptions. You know as well as I do that Thomas would lie to protect his friends-if it came to that- and I would give a very strong okay! Sometimes…”

“Those are very dire circumstances,” Logan parried as he took a few steps forward so he could close the door, closing them off from the view of hallway. “Would you give Thomas your assent to lie for the sake of lying?”

“No!” Patton replied without hesitation, horror dripping from the single syllable.

Logan adjusted his glasses. The lines around his eyes deepened as he gazed at Patton, a pleasant warmth flaring in his chest cavity and spreading down to the tips of his fingers and the soles of his feet. “Would you acquiesce to Thomas lying for his own benefit?”

“Of course not!” Patton squeaked, shaking his head violently. “That’s wrong!”

“Then why are you telling me a falsehood?”  Logan prodded calmly.

Patton’s right leg started to jiggle. "Um...well..."

He looked smaller than any of the other times Logan had interacted with him, head bowed and back hunched as he squirmed.

Logan suppressed the desire bubbling just beneath his rib cage to reach out to Patton again. Instead, he pinned the restless side with an unblinking stare and a downward turn of his lips. "Well?"

“Because it’s my fault that this happened in the first place.” Patton whispered brokenly, not raising his line of sight from his covered feet. “I didn’t hear Thomas call. I didn’t hear Virgil call- and I know he must have been yelling-“ Patton broke off with a choked sob, swiping his wrist under his nose to smear  away the slickness starting to gather there. “I didn’t hear Roman call. I didn’t hear _anyone.”_

“It’s not your fault.” Logan stated because it was just that- a statement.

A fact.

It wasn’t Patton’s fault because Deceit could not only steal their voices but he could seal away the sounds of what was happening outside their domains. The theatre resided in Roman’s room so he couldn’t stop Roman from expressing himself in _his_ area but he could silence his influence and voice in the space between there and Patton’s space.

_“What you don’t know can’t hurt you. Isn’t that right, Logic?”_

“I-I-I th-thought I c-c-could o-organize some things in he-here since Thomas was setting up the equipment,” Patton sniffled and lifted his face to glance at Logan before he turned away, blinking away even more tears. “It was o-only supposed to be a second and I was waiting- I-I was listening...” Patton trembled and Logan’s detached façade fell away in a cloud of dust.

“It’s not your fault, Pat.” Logan closed the distance between them and let his arms wrap around Patton’s waist. “You know that it could have happened anyway. Even-“ Logan steamrolled over Patton's attempt to interrupt him, anticipating the argument balancing the tip of the other's tongue. “Even-" Patton let Logan talk, forehead digging into his shoulder and his irregular breathing warming Logic's skin through his polo. "-if you stayed in the kitchen or living room. His power fluctuates.”

_You know that. I know you do, Pat._

“I know.” Patton’s arms tightened around him, fingertips grazing the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “It’s just…”

_“The clueless puppy might be stupider than all of you.”_

Logan’s eyebrows furrowed as Deceit’s amusement permeated his mindspace, squeezing Patton tighter. “Pat, we are in your room. You’re safe.” He reassured softly, sliding his left foot forward so he was crowding Patton in an unconscious protective gesture.

“What if we aren’t strong enough to rein him in?” The words were muffled because Patton’s face was still buried against his collarbone.

“If we look at the precedent we set, we are strong enough to rein him and the others in.”

“What if this time is different?” Patton mumbled, pressing himself even closer to Logan.

_“There’s no such thing as 100 percent. There’s always some variability.”_

Logan ground his teeth together, tugging Patton tighter against his body, as his chest started pulse in time with the uncomfortable staccato rhythm his choppy breaths had become.

_“Are you going to lie to him? Lie of omission? I never thought I’d see the d—"_

“We have taken care of it before, even without our voices, and if this time is different…we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Logan leaned back, limbs leaden and heavy, with a miniscule, shaky smile. “We have each other- but if you keep worrying…you’re going to catch Virge’s attention.”

“Ah…" Patton sighed, reluctantly retreating from Logan’s embrace to scrub away the evidence of his tears. "...that wouldn’t be good.” Patton pushed his glasses up and Logan nodded, even though he knew that Patton missed his reaction. “Has Virge come out of his room at all?”

“He’s hydrated and eating, if that’s your concern.” Logan answered dryly, forefinger already pressing against the bridge of his nose at the fussy doting that he knew was coming. “Though, his timing of meals is less than ideal.”

Patton nodded with a contented huff. “What about Ro?”

“I...actually haven’t seen him at all.” Logan frowned as he realized that he truly hadn’t heard Princey’s heavy steps or his obnoxious but comforting inflection. “That’s…unusual.”

“I’ll go check on hi—”

Logan grabbed Patton’s arm before he could sprint away. “Ro was really upset about falling for Apate’s trickery... another day or two to allow him to process the situation and gather himself might be beneficial.”

“He’s not introverted like Virge.” Patton protested, but he didn’t try to wrench out of Logan’s grasp. Instead, he bounced on his heels as his pupils flicked in the direction of the hall and back to Logan's face and back and forth, back and forth. “Something is really wrong, Lo. I can feel it…I just _know.”_

“That’s not possible,” Logan muttered with a scoff, eyes drifting heavenward. He let his hand drop so he could hold up a single finger as Patton’s lips parted. “I know you are going to check on him, regardless, but how about a compromise? Coffee, first?”

_“You can’t protect them all.”_

“Okay,” Patton agreed easily, but he swayed from one foot to the other shyly. “How about another compromise? I’ll make Princey some toast and tea...If he eats it, I’ll leave him be for another two days but only **_two days_** , Lo. I know when something is wrong with Ro.”

_I can damn well try._

“That’s acceptable.” Logan concurred as his lips lifted in a genuine, happy grin.

_I really hope that Patton is wrong and that Ro is okay._

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted to my Tumblr: loveinthebones. Come say hi, if you want.  
> Logan is so hard for me to write. My Hubby is endlessly amused by my frustration.


End file.
